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January 2026

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[Vitalis]

1) The Class A drugs.
...

I doubt anyone's judging buddy, dw.
Especially not me and I assume Lazzars who requested the story…

[Tommy the Cat]

Story 2: Misra.

Misra is an Indian girl by skin colour but crazy bitch in every other respect. She's an amazing laugh if you're on her wavelength but otherwise will be incredibly intimidating. She has been mostly responsible for the craziest antics I have got up too at university.

Warning. These stories are NSFAWASOTAD (Not Suitable For Anyone With Any Sense Of Taste And Decency) but lolz.

2a) Roymund and the cyber secks:

Roymund was an incredibly nerdy chap who lived at the house where I crashed most nights. He was a good laugh but was surrounded by odd mysteries by the lies he told to ever avoid having to talk about his financial status. He also had a 0% success rate with women, I have even seen him attempting to chat up a girl by talking about comic books. Lolz followed.

One weekend he went back home, leaving his bedroom door open. Now I claim innocence in this, because at the time of discovery I was downstairs shooting prostitutes on GTA: San Andreas. Misra and her other housemate, Polish, were running around upstairs screaming and being fools. They then started calling down to me and insisting I went upstairs. I did.

When I arrived upstairs not only had they intruded upon Roymunds room, but also had had a look through everything. Within his underwear draw they found a porn DVD called "My Best Friends Mum". A glance over at his laptop and we make another discovery. In his 'My Pictures' folder- the first fucking place anyone looks on someones computer, Misra has found a picture of his very erect penis.

This is the point we should of left, but we didn't. I had the idea of going through his previous webpage history, to which we came upon a startling discovered. He had an account on what is the porn version of myspace, where his profile picture was picture of said cock. A browse on his friendlist, we found that his friends were 40-50 year old women, who had left messages saying things like "I really enjoyed the other night, thank you!"

Being the mature adults we were instead of leaving this and attempting to block it out of our minds, we created an account using a picture of my ex's boobs. We then sent the friends request, which was accepted scarily quickly. Then the MSN chats started, which revealed all sorts of things about our room-mate, such as his mature women, feet and receiving anal from women fetishes. This story, and the account we made, ended when he sent us a video of himself masturbating.

Story 2b... I have no title.

This story involves Misra, and someone else on our philosophy course, who will be represented by the name SM. SM is tolerable in small doses, but for the most part a very odd and annoying person. Last year there was a day it snowed, and Misra threw a snow splat (not a snowball, because women can't roll them). SM, taking this incredibly seriously, decided to retaliate by throwing two solid ICE BALLS, one at her back, the other in her vagina. Misra sought revenge.

After a bit of brainstorming and a lot of toning down to levels that are not considered criminal, Misra decided to collect semen from two males, and put them in his drink. She succeeded, admirably. SM drank 2 men's cum and he is none the wiser. The worst thing about it is that he said it was the most delicious snakebite he's ever drank.

Oh, and pic to prove it did happen:

So imagine living with this girl. Hilarious if you're going out with her, a fucking nightmare if she comes home at 4am with 2 russian men while you're trying to sleep, playing her terrible music on her ridiculous sound system. So occasionally I've subtly vandalized it, gluing the volume nob to acceptable levels, uninstalling her sound card etc. It's never worked.

[Vitalis]

*****
Amazing, brilliant read- would recommended.

[Lazzars]

1) The Class A drugs.
...

I doubt anyone's judging buddy, dw.
Especially not me and I assume Lazzars who requested the story…

not me either, i'm not really all that into drugs tbh, a little class A in my time but mostly just weed. i get solicited for drugs a lot though, which is worrying as i never have any to sell and (hopefully) don't look like a drug dealer

also funny stories are funny. my uni times are tame by comparison

[CruelCow]

You are waaaaay weirder than I thought. And that is saying something!

[Hzza]

You are waaaaay weirder than I thought. And that is saying something!

You haven't heard about sinister shrimp or the stain on Al's sofa...

[CruelCow]

Don't tell me more or I might cancel i40

[Tommy the Cat]

Those are stories for i40 I think.

[discordance]

1) The Class A drugs.
...

I doubt anyone's judging buddy, dw.
Especially not me and I assume Lazzars who requested the story…

not me either, i'm not really all that into drugs tbh, a little class A in my time but mostly just weed. i get solicited for drugs a lot though, which is worrying as i never have any to sell and (hopefully) don't look like a drug dealer

also funny stories are funny. my uni times are tame by comparison

lol, there was a period when i was clubbing and every time i went out people would ask me for drugs :/ pparently i do look like a dealer.

[Vitalis]

Never really worked out how people go about deciding to ask someone to sell them drugs.
From my experiences *anyone* could be a dealer, I've seen most sorts round here xD

Or it comes down to 'does that person look like they might use this drug' if yes then you ask them to help you score?

[Hzza]

From experience, if you're clucking, you'll ask anyone for anything...

[Vitalis]

From experience, if you're clucking, you'll ask anyone for anything...

'Yo! Copper! Where can I find a dealer!?' :p

[discordance]

Story 2: Misra.

Misra is an Indian girl by skin colour but crazy bitch in every other respect. She's an amazing laugh if you're on her wavelength but otherwise will be incredibly intimidating. She has been mostly responsible for the craziest antics I have got up too at university.

Warning. These stories are NSFAWASOTAD (Not Suitable For Anyone With Any Sense Of Taste And Decency) but lolz.

2a) Roymund and the cyber secks:

Roymund was an incredibly nerdy chap who lived at the house where I crashed most nights. He was a good laugh but was surrounded by odd mysteries by the lies he told to ever avoid having to talk about his financial status. He also had a 0% success rate with women, I have even seen him attempting to chat up a girl by talking about comic books. Lolz followed.

One weekend he went back home, leaving his bedroom door open. Now I claim innocence in this, because at the time of discovery I was downstairs shooting prostitutes on GTA: San Andreas. Misra and her other housemate, Polish, were running around upstairs screaming and being fools. They then started calling down to me and insisting I went upstairs. I did.

When I arrived upstairs not only had they intruded upon Roymunds room, but also had had a look through everything. Within his underwear draw they found a porn DVD called "My Best Friends Mum". A glance over at his laptop and we make another discovery. In his 'My Pictures' folder- the first fucking place anyone looks on someones computer, Misra has found a picture of his very erect penis.

This is the point we should of left, but we didn't. I had the idea of going through his previous webpage history, to which we came upon a startling discovered. He had an account on what is the porn version of myspace, where his profile picture was picture of said cock. A browse on his friendlist, we found that his friends were 40-50 year old women, who had left messages saying things like "I really enjoyed the other night, thank you!"

Being the mature adults we were instead of leaving this and attempting to block it out of our minds, we created an account using a picture of my ex's boobs. We then sent the friends request, which was accepted scarily quickly. Then the MSN chats started, which revealed all sorts of things about our room-mate, such as his mature women, feet and receiving anal from women fetishes. This story, and the account we made, ended when he sent us a video of himself masturbating.

Story 2b... I have no title.

This story involves Misra, and someone else on our philosophy course, who will be represented by the name SM. SM is tolerable in small doses, but for the most part a very odd and annoying person. Last year there was a day it snowed, and Misra threw a snow splat (not a snowball, because women can't roll them). SM, taking this incredibly seriously, decided to retaliate by throwing two solid ICE BALLS, one at her back, the other in her vagina. Misra sought revenge.

After a bit of brainstorming and a lot of toning down to levels that are not considered criminal, Misra decided to collect semen from two males, and put them in his drink. She succeeded, admirably. SM drank 2 men's cum and he is none the wiser. The worst thing about it is that he said it was the most delicious snakebite he's ever drank.

Oh, and pic to prove it did happen:

So imagine living with this girl. Hilarious if you're going out with her, a fucking nightmare if she comes home at 4am with 2 russian men while you're trying to sleep, playing her terrible music on her ridiculous sound system. So occasionally I've subtly vandalized it, gluing the volume nob to acceptable levels, uninstalling her sound card etc. It's never worked.

Theres nothing wrong with a bit of the old pegging .

Also I can't find a source but i'm pretty sure i've seen a prosecution for semen spiking.

But lols the internet in all its glory gave me this

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/archive/years/2010/0308101milk1.html

[Tommy the Cat]

It's almost half midnight. FU Hizfag, now I'm going to sleep.

[Hzza]

It's almost half midnight. FU Hizfag, now I'm going to sleep.

D'awwwww.