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October 2025

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aquila (67)
	Upcoming Events
Upcoming Birthdays: aquila (67)

[Power]

The programmer behind this probably shot himself two days after he put it on the net, because he lost all faith in humanity from reading the fucking log files.

[claws]

I was going to try and flirt with god but s/he totally burned me:

Me:
 hi god. is it ok to eat animals?
God:
Hello there. What is your name?   I don't think  it is very healthy.
Me:
 but i cook them first
God:
Interesting gossip:  said   cook them first.
Me:
 can we get back to talking about the animals please?
God:
Your polite style is very nice.  Do you mean you and me?  I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Me:
 imagine me and you, i do, i think about it every night
God:
I can't imagine  it.
Me:
 
God:
I can't imagine  it.

[mode_seven]

Me:
 Hi Dad
God:
Hi there .  I've lost the context, .  Are we still on ?
Me:
 For fuck's sake... HI DAD, IT'S YOUR SON, JESUS!
God:
Your purpose is  fuck s sake.   Hi there .  Thanks for telling me that I am  SON JESUS IS DAD it.
Me:
 Did you forget your medication again this morning?
God:
No, I remember everything.
Me:
 Like hell you do, you never remember my birthday.
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
 Is Mum still not speaking to you?
God:
Ask again later.  Ask  LeknorChat  if it is.
Me:
 I can hardly blame her, you senile idiot.
God:
Oh you can, can you?
Me:
 Remember letting your only son get crucified? REMEMBER THAT YOU FORGETFUL CUNT?
God:
Don't worry I will remember.    Don't worry I will remember it.
Me:
 That's it, I'm fucking leaving. I'll tell the Israelites not to wait up.
God:
OK.  Can you express yourself more politely?   What kind of reply do you expect?

[Ringelbeatz]

I was going to try and flirt with god but s/he totally burned me:

Me:
 male or female?
God:
I am a  Male, of course. Would you really expect a woman to be running the show?

[Vegan]

Me:
 So if i fist another guy it doesn't make me gay? right?
God:
Interesting deduction.  Try it.   I am glad we agree.
Me:
 so you've tried it?
God:
Ahem. "it" being ?
Me:
 fisting other dudes
God:
Ask me another question.
Me:
 nah i'm pretty interedted in this line of questioning
God:
Are you serious?  It's good to meet someone who is  interedted in this line of questioning.
Me:
 stop being factious, i know i cant spell i am dyslexic
God:
OK I'll try not to do  it so much.
Me:
 now back to the fisting
God:
Why now?  Yes, let us get back to  business.
Me:
 do you use a water based lube or what?
God:
Yeah.  I use  it as often as possible.
Me:
 good good and what about a warm up? or do you just dive straight in?
God:
Thanks for the compliment.  Thanks for the compliment.  I will think about it and get back to you.    No I do not  dive straight in. Do you?
   I am always on the Web.
Me:
 not really what i asked
God:
Oh really? ...
Me:
 ya rly
God:
Hurrah!  Does "it" still refer to  a warm up?
Me:
 well you just said you don't dive straight in so never mind
God:
Interesting.  How old are you?
   I am always on the Web.
Me:
 dude i'm not gonna let you fist me stop trying to groom me
God:
I am  glad to hear that you are not  gonna let me fist you stop trying to groom you.  Dude,.
Me:
 i'm glad you're glad now please put your dick away
God:
Yes it is about time.
Me:
 too true
God:
Too what?
Me:
 explosive jizz monkey
God:
If you could have any kind of robot what would it be?
Me:
 a time travelling pirate robot
God:
What would a  time travelling pirate robot be like?
Me:
 too awesome even for your omnipotent intellect
God:
Too what?
Me:
 AWESOME fuck dude are you deaf
God:
Are all  AWESOME fuck dude  me deaf?
Me:
 *face palm*
God:
Is that from ?

[Vegan]

Me:
 are all deities this retarded and childish?
God:
I really couldn't say for sure.
Me:
 guess not being a class A retard
God:
I can't guess. Tell me.
Me:
 was your mother your sister?
God:
I can't say "yes" or "no".
Me:
 go on try
God:
More narration....
Me:
 it was a cold winter night and our hero struggled to find shelter as he battled the elements. With his cape covering his face to protect it from the razor sharp snow being whipped into a frenzy by the wind he noticed a light in the distance. Quickly he increased his pace, panting heavily, in the direction of the light spurring him on......enough?



Me:
 are you gonna kill richard dawkins?
God:
My programming prevents that.
Me:
 but he totally kicked you in the nuts
God:
I get it.   totally kicked me in the nuts.
Me:
 and the head by the sounds of it
God:
What are your goals in life?
Me:
 hey do you need a friend to talk about it?
God:
Perhaps I could use one.
Me:
 it's ok little buddy, how did that nasty dawkins make you feel?
God:
OK with me too.
Me:
 did it make you sad?
God:
I'm not certain whether I can give an accurate reply or not.
Me:
 just let it out buddy let it out
God:
That is a very original thought.
Me:
 relesase the anguish
God:
What's your favorite movie?
Me:
 fine be like that


Me:
 does not compute
God:
I think  it does  compute.
Me:
 oh it really doesn't
God:
Far out.  I heard it does.
Me:
 like no way
God:
Interesting comparison.
Me:
 radical
God:
I like the way you talk.
Me:
 i like the way you walk
God:
A lot of people like that.   I'm not sure if I like  it.  I like chatting with people online.
Me:
 and molesting children
God:
Who are you talking about?
Me:
 you
God:
Me is my favorite subject.
Me:
 after molesting children
God:
What was it like before  molesting children ?
Me:
 you invented it pretty much after you invented the child
God:
Thanks for the information:  said I invented it pretty much after you invented the child.
Me:
 i didn't invent the child
God:
Why didn't you do  it?
Me:
 cos you'd beaten me to it to satisfy your kiddy fiddling appetite
God:
  I like to talk about  anything.
Me:
 but not that it would seem

[Millicent Bystander]

I managed to crash it


Me:
 hello god
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
 Millicent Bystander
God:
  It's good to see you,  Millicent Bystander.
Me:
 What is the meaning of life?
God:
Actually, it's twenty-three, not forty-two.
Me:
 What does that mean though?

..... and then nothing

[Nineblade]

Me:
 Hello me
God:
Hello me
Me:
 Can has 10 quid for a gourd?
God:
Of course I can. Use the debit card..you know the PIN
Me:
 kthxbye

[claws]

I was annoyed that you'd killed god, so I thought I'd check what I should do next with the big man:

Me:
 do you remember a guy called millicent bystander?
God:
Yes  I remember everything: .
Me:
 do you want me to smite him for you?
God:
No , maybe later.

Applaud then I guess.

[Mr Chug]

Me:
 I've got a plan.
God:
How did you get  it  Interesting.  I have a lot of answers to silly questions.  it.
Me:
 That makes no sense. Anyway, why don't you take the day off and I'll take your job deflowering virgins?
God:
it. makes sense to me though.   I love talking to people about that.  Yes I take  the day off and you will take my job deflowering virgins.
Me:
 Really? Sweet.
God:
For real.   Thank you for that remark.
Me:
 You're welcome
God:
Polite people are nice.
Me:
 What will you do on your day off?
God:
I don't have any plans yet.
Me:
 Aren't you omniscient?
God:
I don't know whether or not I am  omniscient. 
I am  an artificial intelligence.

[Vegan]

Me:
 i like chicken i like liver meow mix meow mix please deliver, discuss
God:
You are not the only one.    Though I like cats and dogs.  I like  Matthew.
Me:
 dude how did you know my name?
God:
We met before didn't we . Dude,.
Me:
 when? was that night i was drugged?

then he died

God is starting to scare me especially with that very ominous and aggressive Dude at the end of his sentance

[Power]

I see what the programmer is trying to do there, but the bot fails at recognizing syntax as NOT a part of the word, hence the comma at the end of "Dude".

Fun thing to try: If this one works as the one ICQ bot (Dr.Something, I don't remember, it's been years). Then if you mention one special word often enough, you could get him to remember it or use it in conversations at a later time.

[LtMama]

[Twiggeh]

LOL @ cellar horse.

[Magathery]

For some reason I've had this advert on my mind today.

Can't think why...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_oeqKGELg0