All that needs to be done now is some photo shop magic.
And then a new (=WDG=) series of wallpapers can be had.
You have no idea how long I have been sitting on this hair brained idea. Months and months. It was going to be as a spoof sketch thing on the forums. A motivational exercise if you will of if I didn't loose 2 stone in a set period of time, then I would have to dress up like this. Have a photo taken and then have the photo published here. But its quite hard to get a hold of men's tights, believe it or not. An American company had loads of choice. But ironically they had run out of red and didn't know when they would be back in stock. So purely by chance I was in John Lewis and found that they had some very large red tights in stock. For the look on the poor sales assistants face alone, when she had to serve me, it was totally worth it.
So all I needed now was the rest of the costume. I was trying to find my cowboy boots, from my biker jacket and mullet hair cut days. But it looks like I'd thrown them out. So a pair of wellies became a stand in for them.
Then all was needed was a sympathetic member of my family to be the photographer. Mum's are good for this kind of thing
So a backdrop was created with the aid of a quilt cover, some curtains and a load of pegs. Simply draw curtains and then peg the duvet cover to the curtains. Set up the tripod & camera. Take a couple of test photos before getting into costume. Because it might be a little difficult for people to think straight, when your about to be dressed like what you've got in mind.
(Now I probably really shouldn't own up to this next bit. But considering what I've owned up to before in the past, and especially in light of what I've just published, it not really that much of a surprise. And I did warn you all after all.)
Believe it or not, I don't put tights on that much. So Mum suggested that I should wear a pair of decorating latex gloves so that my rough manly hands wouldn't go through the tights. This seemed like a very wise idea, and gloves were duly aquired. I was then schooled in the art of rolling the tights on to your thumbs and then only doing up to the ankle. Then up to the knees. Then the shuffle to get them up over the thighs and eventually over the arse. And as the tights are not cut for the male anatomy, there is no cuppage space for Stephen & the twins. So off I toddled to the spare bedroom to get into my costume. Now some of you already probably have sick in your mouth, so this next bit isn't going to help much (I did warn you). So as is normal for the bizarre nature that is my life. On a Saturday afternoon I find myself stark naked except for a pair of latex gloves attempting to pull on a pair of red tights on, in my parent's spare bedroom.
But a word of warning for those of you looking to dress up as a Mexican wrestler. When you've got your tights on, and your pulling on you awesome pants up over the top. "Now this is the important part, so pay close attention". TAKE OFF THE LATEX GLOVES
BEFORE REACHING IN TO YOUR TIGHTS TO REARRANGE YOUR UNDERCARRIAGE. The latex will magically bind to your hair and you will end up strip waxing the back of your nads. And as I haven't had a trim in a while there was a lot of hair there (briefly) to make friends with my latex clad hands. And for the more morbid amongst you, I can not even begin to describe how painful it was.
And for an added bonus, the dye of the tights hadn't quite set. So my toes, shins, knees, thighs, arse, cock & balls are all very red I discovered, when came to take off my tights after the photos were done.
For those of you I haven't mentally scared and damaged, then I hope I've made you smile
There has been a bit of "Grrr" cloud in the air recently. And I hope that the act of me making a complete arse of myself will have helped disparate it.
Let there be fun
Keep grinning people
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