And Chug during the birth do not go down to the business end if anyone is carrying scissors, trust me
In fact, don't go down to the business end at all mate.
Definitely don't go down the business end and don't cut the cord, this is what midwives are paid for. Stay at the head end and gulp gas and air when no-ones looking.
I'd also recommend your Mrs doesn't have an epidural, I've hear a of of people having problems after having them including my niece who had her toes broken and didn't feel it.
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